Boing! Boing!

Man, I've had entirely too much caffeine today! I feel like I'm bouncing off the walls! How do people do cocaine and other "uppers?" I can barely handle caffeine. In college I tried No-Doze once. I was so hopped up that I couldn't even finish my work, which is why I tried it to begin with. After that I just drank oodles of Diet Coke and it kept me up. Well, until I started getting chest pains because I drank so much caffeine that it made my chest muscles overly tense. I'm a person who internalizes everything so I tend to seem very calm (usually) on the outside when I'm side I'm losing it.

Anyway, I should be stitching more on my poor neglected Rose Arbour, but only got in a few hours. Jeesh, either I'm too tired to stitch or too hyper to stich. How stupid is that?

You know, I really have a macabre sense of curiosity. I really like military history and have been watching "Battlefield Detectives" all day. I know I'm going to watch the 2-hour documentary tonight on what's essentially the rise and fall of the WTC. I find it very interesting. I'm sure that came out wrong. I mean, like others, I will never forget the horror of that day. I guess I find the actual history surrounding the buildings interesting, and the fact that they stayed up as long as they did a good thing. I truly believe those buildings saved many lives because they stayed up after all the damage, and they didn't fall over taking out more buldings and lives. I think I try to focus almost solely on the buildings themselves in a way to isolate myself from the horror of that day. I hope that makes sense.

On a board I visit we were discussing laughing at the misfortune of others -- bad stuff like illnesses and accidents and the like. I don't laugh, but I have to admit that once in a while I think that something happens to a person because of the way that person has treated others.

Case in point: An ex-friend of mine, The Liar, lied about all sorts of stuff for attention. She led me to believe twice that she had cancer, and she was upset that I was a little skeptical the second time. She also told me a mutual friend, who is now my best friend in the world, had severe cancer and that she would "get" her son (yeah, like he's some sort of trophy or something). Ends up they were all lies. She also told people I had bi-polar disorder. Why? Because I had just broken up with my boyfriend and moved into my own place and wasn't exactly my normal happy self all the time. Yes, that's really odd behavior, isn't it? My sister about went through the roof when she heard that one, and The Liar is lucky my sis is in California LOL!

Anyway, I have to say that if I found out she had cancer, a part of me would think that karma got her. Part of me would feel bad, and I wouldn't find it funny, but there is that small part of me that would think, "That's what happens when you lie about it all the time, like the little boy who cried 'wolf'."

Forgot to say that she used the cancer lies with me because she knew it was a soft spot. She knew how hard it was for me to see my grandmother die from ovarian cancer when she lived with us when I was 17-18. Grandma was a great and intelligent lady, and it was so hard to see her forget who she was, what year it was, think my brother was her son, start getting upset about her brother who had killed himself 30 years earlier, etc. I took her for testing and she screamed for me to help her because she thought they were trying to poison her when they gave her that barium to drink. I'm in tears just thinking about it. And that bitch knew it and used it to garner sympathy with me! So yeah, part of me would definitely think karma had come back to get her.

Anyway, enough of that. This is what I get for posting here when I'm all hyper and weird and by myself. Tim is out with his cousin again tonight. I tell ya, I like having some time to myself but it's getting a bit much. We need to be going out and doing something pretty darn soon or there's going to be issues. To be fair, he asked me if I had plans for the night and I said no, thinking he'd say, "Well, I was thinking we could..." Instead he said, "OK, because Skip wants me to hang out with him tonight, maybe go to a movie." I told him OK, but also said that it would be nice if he would take ME out once in a while. He claims to love me and thinks I'm beautiful (he neeeds new glasses, folks) but then he never wants to take me anywhere. Hmphf!

It's Friday :)

Well, I was good and went to the pool on Wednesday at lunch and will do so again today. I didn't really rush on Wednesday and stopped at the juice bar for a smoothie after I changed and got back to work in exactly 90 minutes, so I know that if I have to rush to get back quicker I can. It was a good swim and a good time to go since everything was pretty much empty. Some weeks I'll still have to go in the morning one or two days because I have various meetings and teleconferences, especially on Wednesdays, but I think for the most part this schedule will work.

I haven't done much stitching at all this month. I think I've put in maybe 3-4 hours for all of February. It's a combination of me being tired lately and also going through a bit of a slump. So, I'm just going to transfer my February goals to March.

I was up early this morning so I threw in a load of laundry that will be done soon. That way I can wear what I want to wear to work today instead of what I have to wear, know what I mean?

Howdy

Haven't been here in a while. I've been reading back through my hand-written journal, where I put stuff I don't want broadcast over the Interet as well as some stuff I put here, and realize I've set a lot of goals for myself recently and really haven't made any progress on any of them. So, I've been thinking about ways to make some progress. These goals have to do with my career, finances, health and home -- yeah, like what's left? LOL!

Tim is starting a new job in less than two weeks, thank God! It's more pay but is in the city so will even out after the wage tax. I think there's potential there though, and it certainly gets him out of the crazy place where he works now. He'll be working 6-2:30, so will probably be leaving 45 minutes to an hour before then. That means if I get up about the time he's leaving I'll have about 2 hours in the morning to do some things around here. Since I became full time this place has gone to Hell in a handbasket because I no longer had as much time at home with Tim not here. It's just impossible for me to clean with him here. Laundry is one thing, but the other stuff is just more difficult when he's here. So, maybe this way I can spend that time working on my home. It's going to feel weird to do that in the morning, as that's not what I'm used to, but I'll get used to it.

I also made a slightly new schedule at work where I'll be going to the gym at lunch on M, W, and F. I will take a 90-minute lunch to make sure I give myself enough time and will stay 30 minutes late. I'll eat my lunch at my desk while I work, no biggie there. My boss said we'll see how it goes and I'm optimistic. I also talked with her on the fly yesterday about my job duties. There are so many things I could do but I'm really not a full-time marketing person. I'm a full-time employee who does marketing, if that makes sense. So, I'm going to track exactly what I'm doing and how long it takes and so is she, and we're going to see what needs to be changed. There are some things she does that may make more sense for me to do, and I have no time to actuall do "marketing" other than creating the flyers, booklets, etc. I don't have the time to come up with many contests or campaigns, nor be proactive with all the fantastic tools given to us from the Lead Generation Center. I think ultimately we need to have a Marketing Director (me, I would hope) and hire another person at least part-time to do some of the extra stuff she and I do, as well as help another woman there who is completely swamped. In 2004 the firm grew quite a bit and we are growing pretty well right now, so I can see something needing to be done soon.

So, that will help some of my goals, I think.

As for the awards banquet, it was very nice but it was Hell for me to get there. Long story short, a 30-minute trip took me 2 hours because I couldn't get around City Hall! Those of you who have been to Philly know what I mean. It's hard for me to get in the correct lane and I keep getting forced out on every street but that one I wanted (Broad) and then I'm on one-way streets going the wrong way. I get turned around and BAM! back at City Hall again! I finally got there but was late and didn't have time to have another run-through with Harris. I normally don't allow myself to show how flustered I am, but I must have been all red in the face and I was shaking, simply because I HATE having people rely on me and letting them down like that. He and his wife were very nice and he gave me a little shoulder hug and said it was fine, that I was there now and that I should go change and get a drink LOL! I have to admit, after a quickly downed large screwdriver, I was feeling better. The presentations and everything were great so there were no problems, and everybody liked all the programs and such I made, so in the end everything was fine. It was just frustrating.

Then, because it was two days before Valetines Day, Harris gave all the ladies in the room a red rose. When I got in the car I proceeded to shut the poor rose in the car door, right on the flower, so when I opened it back up the rose petals went everywhere and I was left with the stem. Oh well, the thought was very nice :)

The Day After

Well, the Super Bowl is over and we lost, but we played a great game. We still could have won it in the last few minutes, but we didn't. I don't feel bad about them losing by 3 points, especially when so many were acting like it was going to be a blow-out or the spread was going to be at least 7 points. I hope people back here don't get on them too bad. Eagles fans are very passionate, which is great when they are doing well but not so good when the fans are disappointed. They will turn on a star player in a second. I remember the first game McNabb played and he was boo'd! So sad. I hope I don't start hearing how we should trade him, because that would be a huge mistake. He was hyped up and was a little off his game, but who wouldn't be in their first Super Bowl? I think next year when they make it again :) he'll be able to do better since he's been there before.

So, we are having our company awards banquet this Saturday at the Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Arts in Philadelphia, the oldest art museum in the country. It is a semi-formal affair, with black tie optional. The staff doesn't get paid enough to buy fance $100+ dresses to wear to these things like the agents do, but I found something dressier than usual at Burlington Coat Factory this evening. It's a black flouncy skirt with a fairy hem and a raised floral design in crushed velvet. It stops right at the knee, so it's not too long. This is a good look for me, as long skirts show off my shortness and make me look like a box. Cost -- $9.99. I also bought a pretty wideneck red sweater with a little tie off to one side. It's simple but pretty and only cost me $16.99. So, for less than $40 I have an outfit to wear to this thing -- works for me! I wasn't going to go at first, then last week I realized that I don't have a choice LOL! I'm one of the two people putting everything together and I need to be there to run the presentations and help set everything up. Tim isn't going because it's not his thing, but that's fine. Many of the spouses of the staff don't go because it's mostly for the agents. There are one or two staff awards, but I don't qualify for them this year because I wasn't there the whole year. It will be a change to have a nice catered meal like this, though. I hate that I have to drive into Philly, but at least I won't have to pay for parking because Harris has reserved a lot for us. So, I think it will be a fun evening. Let's just hope I can get through the evening without spilling food all over my front :)

Only got in a few hours of stitching this weekend -- 4 hours on Angel of Love. The Mirabilia SAL was this weekend and I didn't get to either of my pieces for it. It was nice to make a little progess on Angel of Love, though. I've been working on her on and off for years, and will be thrilled when she's done. I have much more behind me than in front of me, so that's a good sign. Saturday I slept a lot and Sunday I was online and then watching the game. After the game I wasn't in the mood to stitch and went to bed. Since I was able to find something for the weekend tonight, I'll have more stitching time this week than I thought I might.

While I was shopping I became inspired to restart my weight loss program. I'd fallen off around Christmas and never got back on and have gained back much of the 6 pounds I'd lost. While shopping I saw some beautiful outfits that would have fit if I was even just 20 pounds lighter, and realized that this is ridiculous! There's really no reason for me not to get healthier than I am now. I just gotta do it! I'm no longer going to the meetings but I still have the info and access to various online communities and blogs, so I think those will help.

Total drift here, but there's a commercial on at the moment for a CD of Anne Murray's music. I love her voice. She has such a nice and calming voice. She doesn't go around seeing how high she can sing/scream, she's not breathy, she's just... real. I guess I do like her music but I only would listen to so much of it at a time. That particular CD has her covering some of her favorites from others and they sound nice.

Haven't been around much lately

I'm not as tired as I was but my neck still feels a little weird, so I'm going to call again and see if I can make another appointment. My bloodwork came back as completely normal, so I'm not sure what to think.

On to better and less boring stuff (I think):

I think I did well with my January stitching goals. I met most of them and a little extra. I really would have done great if I hadn't been out of it for about two weeks, but that's fine.

January Goals were:
1. Stitch at least one ornament -- done
2. 10 hours on Guardian Angel -- done
3. Buy beads and Kreinik needed to finish Crystal Chandelier and Christmas Jewel, and finish them (5 hours tops combined) -- ordered but haven't received yet
4. Five hours each on:
Sweet Dreams Santa -- actually stitched 10 hours
Rose Arbour -- done
Christmas Flourishes -- done
Sleeping Beauty -- done
Santa in Fur -- done (actually called something else and is from Dimples Designs.)
L&L 1990 freebie -- done

Also got in 5 hours on Earth Dragon and one hour on Angel of Love.

I hope to have more scans this month. Much of what I was working on isn't very recognizable yet or I only put in 5 hours so it's not worth scanning and uploading. I think this month I'll go back to my 10-hour stints so I can see more progress, but it was nice having a real variety of designs to work on. I may stick with the 5-hour routines. We'll see how it goes.

February Goals:
Finish L&L freebie - 10 hours
Finish Christmas Jewel and Crystal Chandelier - 5 hours
Ornament - 5 hours
Guardian Angel - 10 hours
Rose Arbour - 10 hours
Christmas Flourishes - 10 hours
Dracolair purple dragon - 10 hours

Guardian Angel, Christmas Flourishes and Rose Arbour are rounding the bend nicely. I love working on them but the quicker I finish them the quicker I can start Celtic Spring and Santa's Magic! Hmmm, I may switch the Santa's Magic start with the Waiting for Ships start. I believe I have the fabric already for Waiting for Ships (slated to be started when Sweet Dreams Santa is done) but I have to special order Santa's Magic and I'm trying not to go nutso with the ordering at the moment. I'll have to think on that one.