Mindy Memories

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

"How could he cheat on her? She's beautiful!"

Since Tiger Woods' accident in November that eventually brought out his cheating ways, how many times have you heard (or maybe even said) something like this? I remember hearing something similar to this when Hugh Grant got caught with a prostitute when he was married to Elizabeth Hurley. We hear this sentiment all the time, actually. It really goes against my grain for several reasons:

1. I'm not one of the beautiful people, so maybe I'm just jealous. LOL, I don't really think that way but I'm sure there are those who will assume that's my problem. I figured I'd put it out there first.

2. I hate the assumption that someone who looks a certain way physically isn't supposed to be mistreated, but it's OK for average people to have husbands who cheat. How many times have I seen something like "Oh, of course he cheated on her! She got fat/got ugly/got old/whatever." Often women are the worst offenders. I see many women making these excuses for men who cheat on their wives/girlfriends. We basically are telling guys that if we gain a pound or get old (because none of us get old, right?), they can use such excuses for cheating.

3. I also hate that assumption because physically beautiful women are more than just their looks. I know many beautiful women who are also intelligent, hard-working, generous and kind. I've heard some comments made by men about some of them about their looks, but not so much about who they really are. Frankly, I think that's just as offensive as the guy who walks by me and makes a "Fattie" comment.

There's a lot more rambling I could do on this subject, but I need to get ready for work. It just drives me crazy that so often I hear these things coming from women's mouths. It's quite mind-boggling to me.

Oh, and men don't have a monopoly on cheating. There are certainly plenty of women our there who are having affairs and make up all sorts of excuses why it's OK, like "the heart wants what it wants." Gimme a break.


Saturday, January 02, 2010

I hate it when good people die and the evil still live

Went to my friend's son's memorial service today. It was the fifth one for him and the large church was packed with friends and family. He was involved in several organizations and some of them had their own service for him. He was diagnosed with adult-onset Still's Disease back in 2005, a rare form of juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. He was 23.

He was an Eagle Scout, had been part of City Team of Philadelphia (our AmeriCorp program), was a member of several music groups and a junior soccer coach at Clark Park. Although he had been diagnosed with this very painful and dibilitating disease, he still did what he could to stay independent and continue to be involved in his community and mentor to younger people. He did more for others in his 23 years than many of us will do in twice as many years.

I really didn't know him, just knew about him and his brother and sister through his mother. I met her at my needlepoint shop and I just feel for her. It angers me that someone like him has been taken away from us while other people his age are out there doing absolutely nothing but smoking pot and playing video games, or even worse, doing violence to each other. They are still here, yet he is gone.

I know life isn't fair, and they always say there are reasons for why things happen. It's just hard to understand why someone like this is gone. I'm thankful for the time he was here and saw today how many lives he touched, and I hope that will help his family get through the tough times ahead.