Organizing the Christmas Party (funny)

A friend sent this to me and I think it's definitely worth sharing. I think we've all gone through something like this at one time or another. Enjoy. :)

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 1
RE: Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take placeon December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at theGrill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have asmall band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along.
And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!

A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. Exchange of gifts amongemployees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over$10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. Thisgathering is only for employees! A special announcement will be made byour CEO at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Patty


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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 2
RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which oftencoincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However,from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party."

The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians orthose still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmastree present. No Christmas carols will be sung. We will have othertypes of music for your enjoyment. Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Patty


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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 3
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymousrequesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'mhappy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table thatreads, "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposedto handle this?

Somebody?

Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed since theunion members feel that $10.00 is too much money and executives believe$10.00 is a little chintzy.

NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Sincerely
Patty.

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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: December 7
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins theMuslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking duringdaylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate howa luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslimemployees' beliefs.

Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the endof the party - or else package everything for you to take it home in alittle foil doggy baggy. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthestfrom the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest tothe restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians donot have to sit with Gay men, each will have their own table. Yes,there will be a flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.

To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross dressingallowed though. We will have booster seats for short people.

Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot controlthe salt used in the food. We suggest for those people with high bloodpressure to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert forDiabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?

Patty


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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All #%&$ing Employees
DATE: December 10
RE: The #$%*!%Holiday Party

Vegetarians?!?!?!? I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keepthis party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sitquietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you soquaintly put it, and you'll get your #$%^&*! salad bar, includingorganic tomatoes.

But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slicethem. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!

I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hearme!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!

The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!

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FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: December 14
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recoveryand I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime,management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone theafternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

Hope all had a nice Christmas

I had a very nice and quiet Christmas. Tim and I drove about five hours north to visit my parents in Central NY. We went up Saturday and got back yesterday (Wednesday). Coming back we hit some lovely rain and sleet for the last 2 hours of the trip, but the rest of it was fine.

The nice thing about visiting The Parents is that they are once again living in Wine Country, very near to where we lived when I was growing up. So, Sunday and Monday we went to some local wineries that my parents wanted to visit again. Of course, I don't feel right going to a wine tasting and not buying some wine, so we came home with 8 bottles, lol. Tim only drinks red and I only drink white, so we always have to get a bottle for him and a bottle for me. That should last for a while. One thing I can't stand about PA is how difficult it is to get wine from other places. I don't drink California wine, tending to stick to local PA wineries or the NY wineries, but I prefer the NY wines and they are hard to get here. So, I usually stock up when I visit.

I'm very fortunate that my parents are the way they are. Many people, unfortunately, would have issues with their daughter living with a man of a different race. My parents don't care and really go out of their way to make him feel welcome. Of course, my mom made her normal Christmas dinner, which is full of food that Tim loves -- turkey, sweet potatoes, banana bread, broccoli with cheese, stuffing, etc. She sent us home with quite a bit of turkey, banana bread and her yummy Christmas cookies. If you really want to make some good sugar cookies, use the recipe in the Betty Crocker cookbook (mine is a red and white checkered pattern). It uses less sugar and also uses honey and they taste so much better than standard sugar cookies. My mom used Splenda in them and they tasted the same as always.

So, we exchanged gifts but that didn't take long as we try not to spend too much money on them. We tend to get more for our spouses than anyone else, and we pick names out of the hat so that we don't feel we have to buy for everyone. I like it so much better that way. We were never a family to go completely nuts at Christmas, but always had some nice things under the tree.

Anyway, hope everyone is having a nice holiday season. That month between Thanksgiving and New Year's sure can get a little crazy sometimes.

What movie is your Christmas most like?

Your Christmas is Most Like: A Very Brady Christmas

For you, it's all about sharing times with family. Even if you all get a bit cheesy at times.

What Movie Is Your Christmas Most Like?

Picture time!

Finally got my butt in gear and downloaded then uploaded the stitching photos.

First is my "Why Hoard Gold?" from Dragon Dreams. She's stitched on a light greyish blue evenweave. I really love how this one turned out, and Tim also really likes it. She has such a sweet face.




This is the Mirabilia 2001 Cherub, a gift for my coworker at her shower this Thursday. I switched the colors so that the baby blanket and hat is green and the background is blue. She wanted the sex of the baby to be a surprise so I wanted it to be gender neutral. I also changed the beads on the baby's hat from blue to green.




And finally, this has nothing to do with stitching. Tim and I have many nice Christmas ornaments -- those light-up Hallmark ornaments, Lenox ornaments, pewter, etc. So, which one is his favorite? This one:



I received this a few years ago in an ornament exchange, and it is adorable. It's tongue depressor, painted white and with little eyes and a blue hat also painted. Then a button was added to the hat and a little fabric scarf was tied around the "neck." I love this ornament, but it cracks me up that it's Tim's favorite. I have to put it front and center and at his eye level, or else he'll move it there, lol.

Blog links updated

Wow! My blog links were a mess -- some had changed over a year ago, some blogs had been completely deleted, and many blogs I visit weren't on my list. Sooooo, it should be up-to-date now. If you visit and I don't have your blog listed, please leave the link in a comment and I'll happily add it to my list. My next blog task is to update my other links, although those are mostly OK. I still have to take a picture of my Mirabilia cherub I finished and add it to my sidebar. I'm so bad about that, which is silly -- I used to have to take them in to scan them and I'd get them done quickly. Now I have a digital camera and can get a picture immediately and upload it, and I put it off.

My big plans for today are to get the Christmas trees up. I moved some things around yesterday, but today I have to start by taking all that stuff out of that closet so I can get to the Christmas stuff. That's really the hardest part. My wrist has been acting up so I need to be careful, but I'll wrap it while I'm working and that will help. I do love stitching in the livingroom, watching movies or the History Channel while the big tree and Tim's little tree are up and decorated, all aglow. Maybe this year I'll get pictures of them. Tim's tree is a bit pathetic, as it's one of those 4-foot alpine cheapo trees that are tall and narrow, but it's kinda cute in a Charlie Brown sorta way. His tree has sci-fi and comic book ornaments on it -- and a Sponge Bog ornament, for some reason.

Christmas trees

Why do some people think they are so much better than others because they get real Christmas trees? We were discussing white trees vs. green trees (and other colors) at one of the boards. When it comes to these discussions, a few people always feel the need to stress that they have REAL trees and they couldn't possibly have a fake tree, etc. If you get a real tree, fine, but don't act like you are somehow more Christian or something because of it, lol.

Some of us like our fake trees -- especially when we are allergic to pine and can barely walk by a Christmas tree lot without losing it.

Christmas Meme

Stolen from Whizgidget's blog:


1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Depends on the gift and recipient. I prefer wrapping paper but am not good at wrapping odd-shaped presents, and some people have a hard time opening gift wrap if they have arthritis or other health problems. Even if a gift is an odd shape, I will wrap it if it's for a kid -- they love ripping all that paper off.

2. Real tree or artificial? Definitely artificial! I'm allergic to pine.

3. When do you put up the tree? Day after Thanksgiving while I'm avoiding the shoppers.

4. When do you take the tree down? Jan. 6 or the first weekend after Jan. 6.

5. Do you like eggnog? Usually. Depends on how strong it is.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? An art kit. I always circled stuff in the Sears catalog and circled the biggest one. I didn't actually expect it and would have been happy with a small one, but I got it! It had acrylics, oils, brushes, pen & ink, colored pencils, and some kind of waxy crayon-type things. There were papers and charcoal, also.

7. Do you have a nativity scene? A very small one. It's a one piece ceramic nativity of just an arch and the family. I don't have room for a large one, but would like to someday.

8. Hardest person to buy for? Grandma. She has so much stuff that she doesn't really need anything to add to the pile.

9. Easiest person to buy for? Tim.

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? A canister of chocolate from a so-called friend. She knew I was working on losing weight and had lost some and was then thinner than her, so she gave me chocolate. I was nice and thanked her, but I knew what was going on. She's the one I sometimes refer to as "The Liar" and this gift was one of the NICE things she did for me, lol!

11. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail, but email's OK.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Christmas Vacation. It doesn't matter that I've seen it a million times, it still makes me laugh.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I shop a little here and there and pick things up for people if I think they'd like them. I store them for birthdays, last-minute gifts, Christmas, etc. I also start making little ornaments for some people in the summer.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? No. I'd get too confused and give it to the person who gave it to me in the first place.

15. Favorite thing to eat and drink at Christmas? My mom's Christmas cookies and milk, tea or hot chocolate. They must be my mom's recipe -- nobody's are better!

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? I like clear, non-blinking. Tim likes color, blinking. I have white ones on the big tree and colored on his sci-fi tree. Neither blink because it drives me crazy, but when I get a bigger tree for his sci-fi tree I may give in and make the lights blink.

17. Favorite Christmas song? This goes against my childree persona, but I'd have to say "Merry Christmas Little Zachary" by John Denver. It's just a beautiful song.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? I prefer to stay home, but when your closest relatives are 6 hours away you sometimes have to travel. I tend to visit my parents every other year and have Christms with Tim's family the other years. His family is just 30 minutes away.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeers? Dasher, Prancer, Donner, Blitzen, Comet, Cupid, Vixen, Rudolph. There's at least one I'm missing there. (I can't even remember how many he's supposed to have.)

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Star. Angels kinda freak Tim out.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Morning.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Rude people. I hate shopping this time of year (thank God for online shopping!) because people are so obnoxious. I can't stand the fighting over the last toy for Precious, and that Precious' life will be over if he or she doesn't get that exact toy. I hate that everybody thinks they are in more of a hurry than everyone else. A little hustle and bustle is one thing, but it's really gotten out of hand.

23. Favorite thing about the Christmas Holidays? Being cozy at home with the cold outside and the trees lit, hanging out with Tim and Smokey watching a movie or stitching on the couch under a blanket.

24. Most Memorable gift? It wasn't for Christmas, but when I first moved here in Oct. 1995 I had very little money. Thanksgiving was coming up and I really didn't know anyone and was planning on just hanging out in my apartment reading -- didn't have a tv, either. One of my good friends I left behind in FL surprised me by getting me train tickets so I could take Amtrak to NY so I could have Thanksgiving with my uncle and grandmother. It was a very thoughtful and unexpected thing for him to do and I've never forgotten it.

25. What's the one thing you seem to never get done at Christmas time? There are always a few cards I don't get out because I can't find new addresses.