Ah yes, we childfree are so awful!
How long has it been since I've had a good childfree post in here? I think it's long overdue, and a lovely letter to the editor in The Chicago Tribune has got me seeing red. I don't like to copy and paste these things, but you can see it here.
Let's see, where should I start. Well, for one, I have never thought of being childfree as any sort of "movement." I don't want kids, therefore I'm not having them -- end of story.
Mr. Bologna then talks about how many childfree couples have vacation homes in Spain, sleep in all the time, and dine out constantly. Well, I hate to break it to him, but many childfree I know don't do any of these things. In fact, one of the reasons many people don't have kids is because they can't afford them. Also, I think I know a few parents who have traveled to Europe and other places. Does this make them self-absorbed, or do they get off the hook because they have kids?
Yes, I realize child-rearing is hard work. I know enough about myself to know I would not make a good parent for various reasons, therefore I have no kids. I agree with him about parents who see their kids as an accessory. Luckily, I know no parents like this and my friends and coworkers with kids are pretty responsible people.
Then he is also thankful because since we shallow self-absorbed vacationing types aren't having kids, then people like us (the ogres we are!) will die out. I guess that means that in another 50 years or so vacations will no longer exist. I don't know what the tourist industy will do.
Of course, that's one of the arguments we hear all the time, isn't it? "Thank God you aren't having kids so that there won't be any more like you and your kind will die out!" Well, duh -- where the hell do you think we came from? Our parents had us, they had children. Just because a person has one or more child does not mean every one of those kids will do the same. What, did we pop out of holes in the ground or something?
Look, if you want kids and don't abuse them -- great! I don't care if people are having kids as long as they aren't kicking me in restaurants. I don't hate kids, and love my friends' kids. So why do so many people treat us like we are some sort of horrible diseased minority that must be avoided at all costs?
That guy's letter was one of the more insulting diatribes I've read in a while, but certainly not the first and won't be the last. He writes as if he's so intelligent and so much better than those of us who don't want kids. I've never understsood why it's selfish to know yourself enough to not have children and go against society on almost a daily basis.
I need to start looking for that vacation home in Spain. I seem to have misplaced it.
Let's see, where should I start. Well, for one, I have never thought of being childfree as any sort of "movement." I don't want kids, therefore I'm not having them -- end of story.
Mr. Bologna then talks about how many childfree couples have vacation homes in Spain, sleep in all the time, and dine out constantly. Well, I hate to break it to him, but many childfree I know don't do any of these things. In fact, one of the reasons many people don't have kids is because they can't afford them. Also, I think I know a few parents who have traveled to Europe and other places. Does this make them self-absorbed, or do they get off the hook because they have kids?
Yes, I realize child-rearing is hard work. I know enough about myself to know I would not make a good parent for various reasons, therefore I have no kids. I agree with him about parents who see their kids as an accessory. Luckily, I know no parents like this and my friends and coworkers with kids are pretty responsible people.
Then he is also thankful because since we shallow self-absorbed vacationing types aren't having kids, then people like us (the ogres we are!) will die out. I guess that means that in another 50 years or so vacations will no longer exist. I don't know what the tourist industy will do.
Of course, that's one of the arguments we hear all the time, isn't it? "Thank God you aren't having kids so that there won't be any more like you and your kind will die out!" Well, duh -- where the hell do you think we came from? Our parents had us, they had children. Just because a person has one or more child does not mean every one of those kids will do the same. What, did we pop out of holes in the ground or something?
Look, if you want kids and don't abuse them -- great! I don't care if people are having kids as long as they aren't kicking me in restaurants. I don't hate kids, and love my friends' kids. So why do so many people treat us like we are some sort of horrible diseased minority that must be avoided at all costs?
That guy's letter was one of the more insulting diatribes I've read in a while, but certainly not the first and won't be the last. He writes as if he's so intelligent and so much better than those of us who don't want kids. I've never understsood why it's selfish to know yourself enough to not have children and go against society on almost a daily basis.
I need to start looking for that vacation home in Spain. I seem to have misplaced it.
3 Comments:
At 12:01 PM,
Suz said…
Hey, I'm not having kids, where's MY vacation home (I'd prefer Latin or South America to Spain, though, does that make me more or less selfish and evil?). And this dining out thing? What's that?
The most glaring thing I noticed (and you pointed out) is that we're killing ourselves off. Which is good, because maybe the race of us child-free who just Sprang Forth From the Earth Fully Formed might destroy the human race if we reproduced. I mean,I completely forgot that all of us that don't have/want kids don't have parents. I'll save so much money now on Xmas gifts to family who apparently have been tricking me for years.
This childfree "movement" thing is hysterical. Are there national headquarters and lobbyists or something? I need to send a donation to protect my shallow and self-centered interests.
At 12:13 PM,
Jill in CA said…
I read the article and some of the responses and yikes!! I do have a child, but I have friends (IRL in addition to the ones I know online) who have chosen not to have children. I totally respect the decision and, like I've said at Suz's blog, I think it's far better to know what you do or don't want and stick with that rather than do something because it's expected.
Why can't people just be more courteous and respectful towards one another? It's maddening to me to see the way different groups of people treat others that are different from them. Clearly people have too much time on their hands these days. If they were busy trying to survive then they wouldn't be so concerned with what other people do with their lives. I think they need hobbies, like stitching or beading or something, so that they can mind their own stinking business. I don't consider "belittling people who are different from you" to be a hobby, though maybe the people that wrote the article and comments do.
At 5:31 PM,
Anna M said…
There are lots of parents that really shouldn't have kids (my grandparents come to mind) so who's business is it if you chose not to have any?
I get it at work a lot, where just because I don't have kids (I'm still happily single) people assume I have lots of free time and can accomidate my schedual to suit those with kids. I have to work Christmas this year of it, it doesn't matter that my sis's fiance and mom will be spending it at my parents place and it is their first Christmas with us. My free time is just as valuable as anyone elses.
You choose the life that makes you happiest, who's business is it to tell you it is the wrong life, that you are not "normal".
Some people just have way to much time on their hands.
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