Sigh

I wish I had some non-childed friends who lived close by. It's so hard to make plans with friends with small children, as any plans made usually get blown off for some reason or another. I'm usually very understanding of this sort of thing, but when I'm ALWAYS the one blown off for whatever reason (sometimes kid-related, sometimes not) because I'm nice about it and understand, it gets old. Just because I don't have a fit about it doesn't mean that, after about 3-4 years of this, I'm not getting fed up. I'm afraid that if I say anything, my friends will think I'm overreacting or inflexible. You know, friendships take work, too. I don't expect to talk to my friends every day, or even every week. We all have busy lives. But you can't expect me to make plans only to have them canceled time and time again over the course of a few years and have it NOT change the friendship.

I guess I'm just tired of feeling like I'm second best to everyone in my life -- and I mean everyone. I wish just one person would make me feel like I was the most important thing to them, just for a few minutes. I'm sure that sounds selfish, and I don't expect my friends to make their kids second to me, but how hard is it to take one night and go to a movie with me, or go out to dinner? My parents had a sitter almost every Friday for us and they went out to dinner and a movie. Of course, I'm usually the sitter, so that pretty much explains it all, doesn't it?

Meh. I probably come across as a whiny childfree person who has no compassion for parents, but anyone who knows me knows that's not so. I'd just like to feel like someone, somewhere, would even notice if I wasn't around -- and not because they need something from me.

Tim and I both have tomorrow off and are supposed to go out to a movie. I've mentioned this to him, but I have a sinking feeling that something will come up and those plans will get screwed, too.